I am back! Well, my arduous chase to BFP is still the same. It hasn't been friendly to me. A lot of things happened while I was away on this blog. I was hoping that the next time I post something here it will be a positive but, its not.
Hmmm... where to I begin to tell you what has happened the past months. Since August hubby and I started to be semi-vegans. I eat red meat very occasionally. We are now more into seafood and veggies. Some weekends we do eat chicken and beef and even burgers just to satisfy our cravings. But, we rarely eat pork meat and if we do we just take a small portion.
Last September I tried fertility Feung Shui. I bought moonstones, which the feung shui expert said helps in calming the body and emotions thereby promoting fertility in a person. I had also some bracelets such as amethyst and moonstones. It caused me about 12k pesos!! About SGD350! Oh my!
On that same month we went to Seoul, Korea for our nth honeymoon. Haha!
Come October we tried IUI but this time taking injectable Puregon. I had 3-4 good follicles. I thought we got it because I had spotting about 6 days after IUI and had all the preggy symptoms. But, after 4 days of delayed period, AF came. I was devastated and cried about it like I never cried before.
Then after finding out that the procedure was not successful lo and behold I got news that my friend and my niece, who's just 20, are pregnant! Talk about timing, huh?!
Since then I am now under metformin while working on Iva Keene's NFP.
Right now I have feelings of strong desire to have a baby. I also opening up to hubby the idea of adopting. But, he has this old thinking about adoption where adoption is like a disability for us parents and to the child itself.
I don't feel really good right now. It seems that the only thing that can make me happy in life is for me to get pregnant and have a baby. My head is telling me that I shouldn't be feeling that way. I have so much to be happy about. That's true but, right now my heart is telling me otherwise. And, if there's anything that could make me fall pregnant? Right now, I am so willing to take that.
O God, I need strength and fortitude, right now, please. Thank You.
