Again. Everybody is getting pregnant except me.
An actress who got married 5 months ago.
A friend who have been waiting for about 6 years.
A close friend who just had miscarriage last May.
O bummer... When's it gonna be my turn? I'm on my wit's end!!!
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Nothing Has Changes
Hi! It's been awhile since my last post. So preoccupied about nothing, really. What have happened for the past three weeks? Nothing much.
After four weeks of once a week visit to the TCM having acupuncture sessions and drinking bitter potions and pills here I am just had my period after three weeks of delay. I was really expecting that I'd get my period after 30 days. O well, so much with PCOS. But, I was glad to have it last Sunday. I think what helped was the hot compress I placed in my tummy. It was not really for my tummy. There's a lump/bump on my groin. It's a bit painful and the skin is a little red so I'm worried that it may end up as a boil. After checking the net on how to lessen the bump and redness I took a hot compress and placed it on the affected area. In between I would place it also on my tummy and at the back of my hips. I just thought about it because I read somewhere that progesterone is heat sensitive and it'll help to increase it if you put a hot compress on your abdomen and at the back a week before your expected period. I guess it helped indeed cause not only did I have my period but I have no dysmenorrhea. My day 1 was a breeze. I felt nothing not even the pulling down sensation on my vagina.
On my next cycles I'll make sure to have a hot compress ever day starting on the week before I have my period.
Btw, on Sat, 1st of July, I'll have my HSG at Ruffles Hospital. Though I had it in 2008 my current OBGYNE seemed it necessary to have another one since there are cases that the tubes will be blocked due to endemetriosis and others. So wish me luck!
After four weeks of once a week visit to the TCM having acupuncture sessions and drinking bitter potions and pills here I am just had my period after three weeks of delay. I was really expecting that I'd get my period after 30 days. O well, so much with PCOS. But, I was glad to have it last Sunday. I think what helped was the hot compress I placed in my tummy. It was not really for my tummy. There's a lump/bump on my groin. It's a bit painful and the skin is a little red so I'm worried that it may end up as a boil. After checking the net on how to lessen the bump and redness I took a hot compress and placed it on the affected area. In between I would place it also on my tummy and at the back of my hips. I just thought about it because I read somewhere that progesterone is heat sensitive and it'll help to increase it if you put a hot compress on your abdomen and at the back a week before your expected period. I guess it helped indeed cause not only did I have my period but I have no dysmenorrhea. My day 1 was a breeze. I felt nothing not even the pulling down sensation on my vagina.
On my next cycles I'll make sure to have a hot compress ever day starting on the week before I have my period.
Btw, on Sat, 1st of July, I'll have my HSG at Ruffles Hospital. Though I had it in 2008 my current OBGYNE seemed it necessary to have another one since there are cases that the tubes will be blocked due to endemetriosis and others. So wish me luck!
Friday, June 3, 2011
Iva Keene NFP
This is very promising but I am bit skeptic of this because I think I know already almost the do's and don'ts of fertility. The recommended diet is not even always available and is quite expensive. Has anyone actually purchased this and succeeded in conceiving? I can't seem to find any forum or review about the success of her NFP.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Infertility Philippines: A Must-Read Poem for Infertile Women: I Will Be Be...
Infertility Philippines: A Must-Read Poem for Infertile Women: I Will Be Be...: "Here’s a poem I chanced upon while surfing the net and I would like to share this with all the women who are trying to conceive and are in t..."
Trying TCM
It's been a while since my last post. I don't know. I guess I've just been busy. Or I don't want to be reminded that I'm documenting my TTC journey. Or I am hoping the next time I post here it's going to be positive. But, I'm not so the journey goes on!
I've been going to Dr Koh Lee Hoon of Nam Hua Acupuncture and Medical Hall at Tampines Interchage Central 1. She is very kind and seems to know what she is doing. I saw pictures of babies and even a Thank You card dedicated to her for helping a couple have their own baby. So it made me believe that she can help TTC couples conceive naturally. Yep, I'm convincing myself because when I started this process it was not easy.
The first day of my consultation, that was 2nd of May, I was greeted by a nice lady who gladly allowed me to write my name in the waiting list. As I was number 8 she said that I can come back about 1030am, and it's just quarter to 9. So I looked around the area as it was too early, shops open around 1030am, I just bought myself some siopao for breakfast.
Finally, its my turn. She asked usual things doc asks and TCM asks. She gave me a BBT chart to measure my tempt every morning. After some Q&A portion she asked me to lay in the bed and she started the acupuncture. Several needles were placed in my body. Most were in my lower legs for constipation, liver and stomach. I was kind of surprised that in my stomach she just used three needles below my navel. In my previous acupuncture in the Philippines there were about 5 needles along the ovaries. She also placed a patch that connects to a small gadget that massages my lower back.
Before I left the clinic the lady I met early in that morning have prepared the medicine I have to take for 6 days. All of these cost me SGD60. I need to go back every week so it means I'd be spending around SGD240/month on a 4-week month and SGD300 if it's 5 weeks. O boy, I think my husband's wallet is going to be ripped apart. LOL!
It is now my 4th week and have been swallowing 6-7 tablets and drinking bitter syrup each day. I can't see any improvement based on my BBT chart as my temperature is low, 36.5 C the highest after ovulation. I'm expecting my next period to be around this week or early next week and I'm not having bad PMS i.e. headache, wobbling or weak knee, etc, so I guess Doc Koh's treatment is helping me anyhow.
I'm willing to give this 2-3 months more since I've read that TCM takes about 3 or more months before you could actually get the benefits.
p.s. On June 3 I'd be going to Dr. Sheila Loh of Raffles for first consultation. You bet I'm working double time now. Haha!
p.s.s. I've stopped going to Dr. Goh since Clementi is too far for me.
last p.s. I appreciate hubby for helping me out on this process. He would wake up ahead of me around 8am everyday to shake the mercury based thermometer and suck it in my mouth. Then would take it out as I was still asleep and try to read the measurement even he himself is still very sleepy. =)
I've been going to Dr Koh Lee Hoon of Nam Hua Acupuncture and Medical Hall at Tampines Interchage Central 1. She is very kind and seems to know what she is doing. I saw pictures of babies and even a Thank You card dedicated to her for helping a couple have their own baby. So it made me believe that she can help TTC couples conceive naturally. Yep, I'm convincing myself because when I started this process it was not easy.
The first day of my consultation, that was 2nd of May, I was greeted by a nice lady who gladly allowed me to write my name in the waiting list. As I was number 8 she said that I can come back about 1030am, and it's just quarter to 9. So I looked around the area as it was too early, shops open around 1030am, I just bought myself some siopao for breakfast.
Finally, its my turn. She asked usual things doc asks and TCM asks. She gave me a BBT chart to measure my tempt every morning. After some Q&A portion she asked me to lay in the bed and she started the acupuncture. Several needles were placed in my body. Most were in my lower legs for constipation, liver and stomach. I was kind of surprised that in my stomach she just used three needles below my navel. In my previous acupuncture in the Philippines there were about 5 needles along the ovaries. She also placed a patch that connects to a small gadget that massages my lower back.
Before I left the clinic the lady I met early in that morning have prepared the medicine I have to take for 6 days. All of these cost me SGD60. I need to go back every week so it means I'd be spending around SGD240/month on a 4-week month and SGD300 if it's 5 weeks. O boy, I think my husband's wallet is going to be ripped apart. LOL!
It is now my 4th week and have been swallowing 6-7 tablets and drinking bitter syrup each day. I can't see any improvement based on my BBT chart as my temperature is low, 36.5 C the highest after ovulation. I'm expecting my next period to be around this week or early next week and I'm not having bad PMS i.e. headache, wobbling or weak knee, etc, so I guess Doc Koh's treatment is helping me anyhow.
I'm willing to give this 2-3 months more since I've read that TCM takes about 3 or more months before you could actually get the benefits.
p.s. On June 3 I'd be going to Dr. Sheila Loh of Raffles for first consultation. You bet I'm working double time now. Haha!
p.s.s. I've stopped going to Dr. Goh since Clementi is too far for me.
last p.s. I appreciate hubby for helping me out on this process. He would wake up ahead of me around 8am everyday to shake the mercury based thermometer and suck it in my mouth. Then would take it out as I was still asleep and try to read the measurement even he himself is still very sleepy. =)
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Happy Mother's Day!
These are the days which I dread most (that I can think of for now):
- day 1 of my menses,,
- Facebook announcement that someone is pregnant or has given birth
- baby's christening where I'm either a guest or worse a godmother,
- children's birthday party and,
- yeah, Mother's Day
These are the days when I'm reminded that I'm not a mother... yet. That I don't have a child...yet. That I won't be receiving Happy Mother's Day for me but for my mom. These occasions seem to shout out at me saying, 'Hey, you're infertile and not getting pregnant is the worst failure you could ever get!' Sometimes I would pity myself, then try to compose myself convincing that I'd get pregnant, we haven't just found out yet what's really wrong with me. We'll get there. Maybe this coming cycle or after a TCM or a visit to OB/GYNE. Then, when I see a pregnant woman or a mother carrying her new born, urgh! There goes the self pity again, then the anger of how what seems to be an easy thing for others, is so damn hard for me!
Where is that missing puzzle? What is it that we haven't done yet? What is it that we have done in a wrong way? Am I being punished? Is this my curse for all the wrong that I've done? Moments like these come even at the middle of the night, while working my ass up and mostly when I'm alone. And, yet, there are no answers to these questions. I'm just hoping it will come really soon before I lose my sanity.
- day 1 of my menses,,
- Facebook announcement that someone is pregnant or has given birth
- baby's christening where I'm either a guest or worse a godmother,
- children's birthday party and,
- yeah, Mother's Day
These are the days when I'm reminded that I'm not a mother... yet. That I don't have a child...yet. That I won't be receiving Happy Mother's Day for me but for my mom. These occasions seem to shout out at me saying, 'Hey, you're infertile and not getting pregnant is the worst failure you could ever get!' Sometimes I would pity myself, then try to compose myself convincing that I'd get pregnant, we haven't just found out yet what's really wrong with me. We'll get there. Maybe this coming cycle or after a TCM or a visit to OB/GYNE. Then, when I see a pregnant woman or a mother carrying her new born, urgh! There goes the self pity again, then the anger of how what seems to be an easy thing for others, is so damn hard for me!
Where is that missing puzzle? What is it that we haven't done yet? What is it that we have done in a wrong way? Am I being punished? Is this my curse for all the wrong that I've done? Moments like these come even at the middle of the night, while working my ass up and mostly when I'm alone. And, yet, there are no answers to these questions. I'm just hoping it will come really soon before I lose my sanity.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Everybody Is Getting Pregnant But ME!
40-year old actress, hubby's two friends - one who's been trying for five years and the other for a second child. Why has it always been skipping me. Before I resigned from my old job almost around me got pregnant and the news almost always come when I thought I'm pregnant and then bang! My period came!
It has always been like this. How I wish I could get used to these circumstances, but I can't. How can you tell yourself that it's ok when all you want to do is pity yourself and talk to your ovaries to please for once can't you just work the way you're supposed to? Then comes my obsession again to search for reason for infertility when I've already read them thousands of times. Lurking into forums checking if someone got preggy drinking this or eating that or doing something. TMI already but there's got to be an answer to what I'm going through.
Yeah, no matter how much we push, there's only so much that we can do. We still leave everything to nature, to God that the sticky beans will come. By then, every hurt, every pain and every bitter herbal pill we have to take will all be worth it because when our little one comes everything will be magical.
It has always been like this. How I wish I could get used to these circumstances, but I can't. How can you tell yourself that it's ok when all you want to do is pity yourself and talk to your ovaries to please for once can't you just work the way you're supposed to? Then comes my obsession again to search for reason for infertility when I've already read them thousands of times. Lurking into forums checking if someone got preggy drinking this or eating that or doing something. TMI already but there's got to be an answer to what I'm going through.
Yeah, no matter how much we push, there's only so much that we can do. We still leave everything to nature, to God that the sticky beans will come. By then, every hurt, every pain and every bitter herbal pill we have to take will all be worth it because when our little one comes everything will be magical.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Pope Paull II Beatification
Yesterday, May 1, was a great celebration for all Catholics. It was the beatification of Pope Paul II, the Pope of Our Generation, as they say, and the feast of Jesus The Divine Mercy. He is my favorite pope. He is charismatic, oozing with love and compassion. He even have forgiven and visited his would be assassin in the prison.
Pope Benedict XVI's proclamation of him as 'blessed' coincided with the celebration of The Divine Mercy because he was the defender of the The Divine Mercy apparition to Sr. Faustina. He was the one who declared the feast day of The Divine Mercy. Hubby and I feel lucky and blessed that The Divine Mercy Church here is quite near our place so we celebrated the mass there and to our great surprise the relics of Pope Paul with his statue were displayed at the side of the altar. Everytime I look at them I feel teary eyed. I begged for his intercession that he would also do a miracle for us. To pray for us that the Lord God grant us our greatest desire - our own children.
The vestments were said to be lost for some years already
and was only found a day before JPII's beatification.
After the mass, we venerated the relics and took some pictures. Before we left I said a prayer and said to myself, 'Go on God, heal me. Heal me.' I claim that God healed me through Pope Paul's intercession because that night I finally got my period! Yey!
Blessed Paul, pray for us.
Trying Out TCM
In my search for that missing period I took a one hour run last Saturday and yoga, using Breath, Bend and Conceive DVD by Ana Davis, finally had my D1 last night. No wonder why I feel weak and didn't have the slightest desire to go to Night Safari. Hubby's been forcing me to go to Night Safari since I came here in SG. I'm not really into animal parks. If he had asked me to go shopping in Orchard well, he doesn't have to ask me twice. Haha!
Anyway, so we left the house at around 9:15am to go to Dr. Goh Seck Choon for the appointment. It was about a 45min-bus-ride from here. But, we have to walk 5-10min to the bus station as there's no bus number on the usual station that we go to.
We got to the clinic a bit past 10am because we missed the bus stop and have to walk again few more meters to the clinic. After 20 minutes or so it was now our turn. His clinic is small due to the clutters, books, bottles, etc. piled and stocked around the room. I can't help but look around the place while I wait for him to finish his writing on my record card. He checked for my pulse in both wrists. He was already giving me medications when I asked him the condition of my body. After a deep breath he said my body is very weak and that I have PCOS w/c caused my severe cramping and advised me not to drink nor eat anything cold. After that we waited for our medicines in the reception area.
The receptionist prepared our medicines and gave us instructions on the number of tablets and how many times a day I should take them. I were given four kinds of meds in small transparent containers without labels. One type three tablets, another two tabs, the other two tabs also and the last one, one tablet all three times a day and should be taken at the same time! Eight tablets three times a day! I hope I won't die of choking while taking these. But, it's still better than boiling leaves or teas and having to drink them with awful tastes. I think the medicines given to me are herbs in tablet forms only because I can smell the leaves in them. I have to take them for six days, by the way.
All for the baby!
Anyway, so we left the house at around 9:15am to go to Dr. Goh Seck Choon for the appointment. It was about a 45min-bus-ride from here. But, we have to walk 5-10min to the bus station as there's no bus number on the usual station that we go to.
We got to the clinic a bit past 10am because we missed the bus stop and have to walk again few more meters to the clinic. After 20 minutes or so it was now our turn. His clinic is small due to the clutters, books, bottles, etc. piled and stocked around the room. I can't help but look around the place while I wait for him to finish his writing on my record card. He checked for my pulse in both wrists. He was already giving me medications when I asked him the condition of my body. After a deep breath he said my body is very weak and that I have PCOS w/c caused my severe cramping and advised me not to drink nor eat anything cold. After that we waited for our medicines in the reception area.
The receptionist prepared our medicines and gave us instructions on the number of tablets and how many times a day I should take them. I were given four kinds of meds in small transparent containers without labels. One type three tablets, another two tabs, the other two tabs also and the last one, one tablet all three times a day and should be taken at the same time! Eight tablets three times a day! I hope I won't die of choking while taking these. But, it's still better than boiling leaves or teas and having to drink them with awful tastes. I think the medicines given to me are herbs in tablet forms only because I can smell the leaves in them. I have to take them for six days, by the way.
All for the baby!
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Searching for the Specialist
I am already on may D36 and no period yet. So I called up Dr Sheila Loh's clinic in Raffles Hospital who is quite popular in some SG forums. She is fully booked the whole month and my appointment will yet be on the 3rd of July. O, bummer! So many infertile couples in the house!!!
Since I'd be waiting for a month I'm thinking of trying out TCM. I made an appointment with Goh Seck Choon of Ubi Ave 1 and advised to be early on Monday, May 2. Guess there'll be a long queue here, too.
If you want to try TCM, these two sites have comprehensive lists:
http://www.tcm-esearch.com/
http://singaporetcm.wordpress.com/
Since I'd be waiting for a month I'm thinking of trying out TCM. I made an appointment with Goh Seck Choon of Ubi Ave 1 and advised to be early on Monday, May 2. Guess there'll be a long queue here, too.
If you want to try TCM, these two sites have comprehensive lists:
http://www.tcm-esearch.com/
http://singaporetcm.wordpress.com/
Thursday, April 28, 2011
The Journey Continues in SG
Hubby and I decided to seek the help of a specialist once again due to the excruciating abdominal pain I had on the 26th of this month and last night I was also feeling the pain again but this time it's more tolerable. I'm afraid it's the endemetriosis, the initial diagnosis of the last endo-repro doctor I visited in the Philippines weeks before I came here in Singapore.
So I searched the net for possible infertility doctors. My eyes almost popped out when I found out the consultation fees! Dr Wong Peng Cheang is a fellow of PSREI or Philippine Society of Reproductive Endocrinology and Infertility, Incorporated. I was thinking if he's a fellow in a Philippine organization maybe he would be easier to consult. His fee is around SGD168 for the first consultation and SGD88++ for succeeding visits. These excludes all tests that he'll be doing. S$168 = Php5.5k++!!! Gosh! It was soooo expensive!! That's why I checked on Dr Ann Tan which I read in some forums. She seemed to be popular and can be compared to the likes of Dr. Eileen Manalo in the Phil. It said that the queue is quite long and would take you hours before you get your turn and sometimes she doesn't encourage questions from patients. I shoot an inquiry about her fees and I almost fell from where I'm sitting! S$170 consultation fee and S$130 ultrasound test! Whhuuuuaaaatttt???? Is this for real? And if you're a private patient you're still charged with GST tax of 7%. So the total would be more that Php6k?!
Now, I'm angry and hated the situation I am in. Why is it so expensive? I should have completed all my tests in the Philippines so that I don't have to do this here. And in the first place, why am I having this infertility problems? Why??? Urgh!
So I searched the net for possible infertility doctors. My eyes almost popped out when I found out the consultation fees! Dr Wong Peng Cheang is a fellow of PSREI or Philippine Society of Reproductive Endocrinology and Infertility, Incorporated. I was thinking if he's a fellow in a Philippine organization maybe he would be easier to consult. His fee is around SGD168 for the first consultation and SGD88++ for succeeding visits. These excludes all tests that he'll be doing. S$168 = Php5.5k++!!! Gosh! It was soooo expensive!! That's why I checked on Dr Ann Tan which I read in some forums. She seemed to be popular and can be compared to the likes of Dr. Eileen Manalo in the Phil. It said that the queue is quite long and would take you hours before you get your turn and sometimes she doesn't encourage questions from patients. I shoot an inquiry about her fees and I almost fell from where I'm sitting! S$170 consultation fee and S$130 ultrasound test! Whhuuuuaaaatttt???? Is this for real? And if you're a private patient you're still charged with GST tax of 7%. So the total would be more that Php6k?!
Now, I'm angry and hated the situation I am in. Why is it so expensive? I should have completed all my tests in the Philippines so that I don't have to do this here. And in the first place, why am I having this infertility problems? Why??? Urgh!
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Preseed
Part of the itinerary of that November trip was to visit all Watsons and Guardian stores we could find. As in everytime we see one I wouldn't miss checking out if Preseed is sold in that store. And it was only yesterday that I was finally able to buy one. There were two stocks of Preseed. I already got hold of one box and been thinking if I should buy both of them since stores selling them is a dime a dozen. I would pick up the other box, ask myself if I should buy it, then put it back. I was going to the counter but went back to the shelf, hold the other box again, ask myself if I should buy it, then put it back, long pause and I finally decided that I won't be buying it, for now. Oh, women! Haha!
Actually, we were still not able to use all of the first Preseed that I bought in the Philippines. So why I bought again? I am saving it when I think we'd be able to conceive (when would that be I wonder?) or when we finally start to do a work up again.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
What's Wrong With Us, Doc? Part 1
When I got married in 2007 in the Philippines, I wanted to have a honeymoon baby but since it did not happen I thought what the heck we just got married. Then weeks came into months then into a year. Question of 'Am I barren?' popped out. Infertility wasn't the word I used then until I visited an OB/GYNE in 2008 wrote on her RX paper subinfertile. Huh? Subinfertile? Meaning not really infertile? I didn't bother anymore to ask because the succeeding words that came out from her mouth were a little bit inaudible and Greek for me. She did an ultrasound on me and it came out I have PCOS, Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, and that I don't ovulate on my own. She instructed my husband to undergo a comprehensive seminalysis at a very reputable and very expensive hospital. We got the result after two hours and got the shock of our lives.
TERATOZOOSPERMIA. Teratozoospermia was the initial findings written in the result. There are percentages on the quality of his sperm and we somehow able to get the meaning of that medical term. We got restless, especially hubby since it's his sperm, so we looked for the nearest internet shop and rented a PC to check the exact meaning and possible cure for it. We were really down trodden when we left the internet shop. His sperm morphology is very low about 9% normal so meaning the rest are abnormal and like monsters in the semen. We even actually added up all those percentages just to make sure the total would be 100%. We were shock! We never knew those things existed. But, based on what we've initially read it can be reversed. (I'll be detailing this in my coming blogs. Promise.)
So we went back to the doctor and showed her the results. It's only now that I realized that she shouldn't have gave us false hope by working us up knowing my hubby's sperm quality is quite low. So even if I take a blister pack of clomid there'll be no way I could get pregnant. That money-making-b***h! Anyway, so by now you know that we started our fertility work-ups. I had only i think 2 cycles and I stopped. This started my jump from one OB/GYNE to another in the hopes of getting pregnant.
TERATOZOOSPERMIA. Teratozoospermia was the initial findings written in the result. There are percentages on the quality of his sperm and we somehow able to get the meaning of that medical term. We got restless, especially hubby since it's his sperm, so we looked for the nearest internet shop and rented a PC to check the exact meaning and possible cure for it. We were really down trodden when we left the internet shop. His sperm morphology is very low about 9% normal so meaning the rest are abnormal and like monsters in the semen. We even actually added up all those percentages just to make sure the total would be 100%. We were shock! We never knew those things existed. But, based on what we've initially read it can be reversed. (I'll be detailing this in my coming blogs. Promise.)
So we went back to the doctor and showed her the results. It's only now that I realized that she shouldn't have gave us false hope by working us up knowing my hubby's sperm quality is quite low. So even if I take a blister pack of clomid there'll be no way I could get pregnant. That money-making-b***h! Anyway, so by now you know that we started our fertility work-ups. I had only i think 2 cycles and I stopped. This started my jump from one OB/GYNE to another in the hopes of getting pregnant.
Another Early Morning Pain
I woke up at around 230am wanting to pee and having that nagging feeling of lower abdominal cramps. A sign that red flag is about to be raised up. I went back to sleep only to wake up again at around 4am because the pain is getting intense. I woke up hubby to help me out with the increasing pain in my lower abdomen. As he is the person who gets panic easily I have to instruct him what to do. Talking while in such pain was a real struggle. He went to the kitchen to boil some water for the hot compress as this is the only thing that can relieve the cramping. Before I could even wait for him mother nature called out! I hurriedly went to the toilet for a BM. Boy, was I having cold sweat and I'm starting to feel a little numb?! It was scary but I had this before so I know after this It'll be alright.
It was about a 10-15minutes ordeal. But, it felt so long for me. We were not able to talk about it anymore as the adrenaline died down, we're tired and fell asleep.
When I woke up he was already preparing to leave for work. I couldn't get myself up as I still feel a bit week and my knees feel wobbly. He caught me looking from afar and asked me what's on my head. I just said nothing.
Nothing in my head is comprehensible and all are questions. How come this thing happened again? I thought irregular period (I'm already 2 days delayed) and severe abdominal cramps are caused by stress. But, I haven't been working since I came here to Singapore about a month now. I've been taking lots of supplements like fertility blend, glutathione, vit-C and green barley. Almost removing dairy in my diet, less bad fats, incorporating organic foods and even doing yoga at least twice a week.
I had this pain November last year and I decided to improve my lifestyle as far as resigning from work thinking my reproductive system won't go further berserk if I chose the road less traveled.Duh? And yet, here I am feeling that pain again and what's making things worse is that I'm not pregnant - again!
Oh, crap! What do I need to do?
And Oh, btw, when I had this last November it was also on the early morning of 26th about 4am. What's with the 26th of 4am? Oh please, don't make this a routine? Pretty please?
It was about a 10-15minutes ordeal. But, it felt so long for me. We were not able to talk about it anymore as the adrenaline died down, we're tired and fell asleep.
When I woke up he was already preparing to leave for work. I couldn't get myself up as I still feel a bit week and my knees feel wobbly. He caught me looking from afar and asked me what's on my head. I just said nothing.
Nothing in my head is comprehensible and all are questions. How come this thing happened again? I thought irregular period (I'm already 2 days delayed) and severe abdominal cramps are caused by stress. But, I haven't been working since I came here to Singapore about a month now. I've been taking lots of supplements like fertility blend, glutathione, vit-C and green barley. Almost removing dairy in my diet, less bad fats, incorporating organic foods and even doing yoga at least twice a week.
I had this pain November last year and I decided to improve my lifestyle as far as resigning from work thinking my reproductive system won't go further berserk if I chose the road less traveled.Duh? And yet, here I am feeling that pain again and what's making things worse is that I'm not pregnant - again!
Oh, crap! What do I need to do?
And Oh, btw, when I had this last November it was also on the early morning of 26th about 4am. What's with the 26th of 4am? Oh please, don't make this a routine? Pretty please?
Monday, April 25, 2011
Hear Me Out
Just a trivia this is my 2nd blogger account in 3hours! I forgot my password for my 1st account. O bummer!
Ok. So here I am one of those couples who have been chasing that thought-so-easy-but-realized-it's-damn-hard pregnancy. I really never thought it's going to be this hard! I came from a big family so fertility issue is not an issue until I got married.
Hubby and I married in our early 30-ish. On our first year we took things in stride until those irritating questions, insensitive jokes and pressure on my ticking biological clock took the wits out of me. Actively trying for me is an understatement. When I started wondering why I couldn't get pregnant I began the painful but still funny TTC journey (just in case you're not 'one of those' I'm talking about TTC is an acronym for Trying To Conceive). I did so many research, through the web of course, I came across with so many informations that gave me hope and at the same time scared me. Hope, because I know that there are so many options and ways for me to boost my fertility. Scared, because what if those informations won't be enough for me or my husband to finally conceive?
With all the infos in the net I have a little white notebook where I jot down all that get my attention; the supposed great fertility specialists, vitamins and minerals we have to take, herbals and organics that need to be included in our supplements, TCM, yoga, best sexual positions (mind you!), healing priests and some Filipino beliefs and traditions. I tediously wrote them down just to ensure I won't miss a thing.
From what I've gotten from the web and forums I have visited to several OB/GYNE, endo-repro and infertility specialists. We had several cycles of clomid, femara, 2 failed IUIs, tons of supplements that's supposed to enhance our reproductive health, scheduled BD (Baby Dancing or SEX), 3 hilot (abdominal massage), acupuncture, kilometers of travel to healing priests and several nights of novena prayers to almost all saints related to children or pregnancy: the likes of St Gerald of Mejilla, St Ann Mother of Mary, St Pio, St Anthony and even St Jude for Hopeless cases. (That's how hopeless we came to be!) Went also to the feasts of St. Claire and St. Pio. We're hoping that faith could somehow help us through with science. But, alas! After more than three years here I am even a false positive I haven't got any.
So why I'm still not pregnant? I don't know! Had I known I would be pregnant by now and you wouldn't be asking me that, right?
With all the infos in the net I have a little white notebook where I jot down all that get my attention; the supposed great fertility specialists, vitamins and minerals we have to take, herbals and organics that need to be included in our supplements, TCM, yoga, best sexual positions (mind you!), healing priests and some Filipino beliefs and traditions. I tediously wrote them down just to ensure I won't miss a thing.
From what I've gotten from the web and forums I have visited to several OB/GYNE, endo-repro and infertility specialists. We had several cycles of clomid, femara, 2 failed IUIs, tons of supplements that's supposed to enhance our reproductive health, scheduled BD (Baby Dancing or SEX), 3 hilot (abdominal massage), acupuncture, kilometers of travel to healing priests and several nights of novena prayers to almost all saints related to children or pregnancy: the likes of St Gerald of Mejilla, St Ann Mother of Mary, St Pio, St Anthony and even St Jude for Hopeless cases. (That's how hopeless we came to be!) Went also to the feasts of St. Claire and St. Pio. We're hoping that faith could somehow help us through with science. But, alas! After more than three years here I am even a false positive I haven't got any.
So why I'm still not pregnant? I don't know! Had I known I would be pregnant by now and you wouldn't be asking me that, right?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)